


you miss her

by pinklesbian



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinklesbian/pseuds/pinklesbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You miss her so much it hurts. You can't think about her or hear her name without starting to cry and everybody knows it but you don't fucking care because you miss her so bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you miss her

You miss her. 

You miss her so much it hurts. You can't think about her or hear her name without starting to cry and everybody knows it but you don't fucking care because you miss her so bad. 

Terezi avoids you and Dave is starting to avoid you as well, because you are pretty sure they have a thing together and he obviously prefers her over you. 

But you don't want Dave or Rose or Jade and you don't even care if you get your dad back or not because you miss Vriska. 

You didn't know you would miss her this much. For three years you hardly ever thought about her.

You're awful. You're an asshole and you don't deserve to be alive. You probably deserve to hurt this much.

You had always assumed you would meet up with her and hug her and laugh and tell her spiders are gross and go on a d8 and watch movies and play games and you guys would sleep in the same bed and you'd be the big spoon (who are you kidding, you would totally be the little spoon) and you'd just spend the rest of your lives together or something. 

Eventually everyone stops trying to make you feel better. It's not worth the effort; you will _never_ feel better. 

\---

The meteor passes through dreambubbles every now and then. 

You see her in one. The bubble itself is very boring. Everything is black and empty.

You call her name and she turns toward you (and the rest of your party), and Rose gasps and Terezi says "No, wait!" and she tries to grab you but she misses because she _is_ blind after all. You run toward her and snatch her up in a bear hug, and you start to cry. 

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, "But I'm not Vriska."

You cry even harder, ask her to please, just let you pretend. She strokes your hair until you're done crying. You pull away and look at her closer.

Dave would tell you about her-- sometimes he and Terezi would talk (jam!) about their feelings, so he'd heard of her. Vriska didn't wear dresses, and she had long hair. Their horns were the same, though. You imagine that if she weren't dead, she would have one goofy eye with seven pupils because she's kind of a weirdo. You wonder if she has psychic powers, too.

You never got to ask her any of these things, though, because you passed through the dream bubble. Rose assured you that you would probably see her again-- that you might even see Vriska again. You asked her if they had seen her in the three years that you were in the yellow yard. She didn't answer, just pursed her lips.

\---

Sometimes you lock yourself in the room you've claimed as yours and turn off the lights. Sometimes you just sit there and think, but most of the time you pop a lame movie into a laptop. Most of the time they're Nic Cage movies, because you know Vriska had a huge crush on him. You can't blame her, you think.

Sometimes you pause the movie and pester her old trolltag. 

Sometimes-- no, wait, every time. You cry every time. It's lame and it's not cool and you have bigger fish to fry but you think you are damn well allowed to be upset over an almost girlfriend. 

Sometimes you want to just get over her. But you would never forgive yourself if you did that. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is really dumb but ive been trying to write a fucking fic for three days so i just spat this up


End file.
